Mindfulness and Grief

Too powerful and beautiful not to share on.

Untangled

My mindfulness and meditation practice is extremely important to me. Some mindfulness masters teach that you cannot fully begin to meditate until you have wept deeply. I once read a story of a Zen teacher who flirted with meditation for years before he decided to commit. He recalled how he wept openly and often for two years and only after he had grieved for many things in his life was he able to sit in silence.

Recently, as I was sitting outside enjoying a beautiful day, I began to feel the pull of profound grief and sadness for the life I had uncovered: the loss, the pain, the torture, the years that I clung to survival as my only way of life. I was sad for the years of having no hope, no dreams, and no promises made, thinking that whoever came into my life would leave. I don’t dwell there…

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Is forgiveness necessary for healing?

This is honest and liberating writing for any person struggling with abuse, whether in the past or present.

A Brave Mess

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about the concept of forgiveness.

When I was really stuck in the trenches in November and December, working through trauma and dealing with family–motherly–issues, I found myself really holding onto the idea of an apology.

You see, as a grown up who is just now realizing exactly how sad and traumatic and lonely my childhood was, I started seeing just how unjust it was. With that sense of injustice, came a need for…vindication.

However…that vindication, that need for the people who hurt me–who continue–to hurt me, to own up to what they did and apologize?

Well…that just isn’t ever going to happen. 

I was finally able to realize that and I had some strong, soul healing realizations. But, at the same time, the concept of forgiveness still permeated my sense of compassion and politeness.

Only, this time, it made me wonder: do 

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