Finding our voice after childhood abuse is a powerful – indeed empowering – step forwards in healing.
The past two weeks have seen the IICSA (Independent Inquiry Child Sexual Abuse) investigate abuse within specialist music schools and some residential schools. My former school, Chethams, being one of those investigated.
The accounts at the inquiry, and further accounts related by former students are harrowing to read.
Both links carry major trigger warnings – you may find the content deeply upsetting.
It has been a triggering, upsetting time for many.
Memories locked away for decades. Memories perhaps holding shame. Fear.
Yet Shame and Fear can both be broken – and they are broken by speaking out, by looking people in the face and seeing acceptance.
We are not what happened to us in any way. The guilt lies solely with predators, perpetrators – and with the multitude who turned a blind eye.
Straif (Blackthorn) is associated with trauma, with pain.
A few days ago I went on a shamanic journey in search of a ghost-child soul-fragment of my 12-year-old self.
I found her – Gray – Frozen in time. She spoke her first words to me since leaving me at that age, when my grandmother died. It is too soon for her to return fully to me; she has yet to trust me with the full memory of what caused her to leave, but I can visit her, talk with her, whenever I want.
Returning to myself, I listened to some deeply relaxing binaural music, and sent Straif as an essence back in time to my ghost-child. While I knew Reiki could be sent back in time, this was not something I had ever done before.
Now I know that sending Reiki to those fragmented parts of us is deeply healing. My ghost-child is no longer gray. She is returning to life.
Yesterday I saw the first Blackthorn out as I went on a day course entitled ‘Child Sexual Abuse: Hope for Healing’. A timely omen from nature.